Reppin' Naptown 317

It is a well known fact that the streets of Indianapolis are, according to some of the kids in my school, "Da toughest muh fuckin' streets in tha whole world". I had always doubted this and felt that it was simply people having too much pride in being ignorant and poor, however over the summer I had a ghetto experience that made me feel like I was "Straight Outta Compton" on the set of the major motion picture "Boys In The Hood". Now, I'm sure everyone who has ever seen me knows that when it comes to "being hood" I'm "on that Rick Ross status", however this moment of my life was so intense that even a straight up "bone thug" like me could barely handle it.

It all happened on a warm June evening, I had just picked up my dear friend Paul Logan and was on the way to "Middle Eastern Fest '09", an event that I had been looking forward too for the whole month. As Paul got into my car and began to tell me a story about his dear Jewish mother I started to remember a bone chilling warning that my own mother had delivered to me. Before I left my house my mother told me to drive safely and wear a seat belt, things that she normally tells me, however she added a very special warning of "Oh and make sure you don't drive too far past it because you'll end up in Murder Capital U.S.A.". Yet I thought it was just my mother being a mother and didn't take her warning seriously at all. As Paul and I drove towards our great feast of Middle Eastern food, we listened to Mash Bros, talked about "Bitches", and carried out a conversation about Lady Gaga and how she is only looking for a man with "A big dick". After a while we began to see a sign that read "Festival Parking up ahead!" and then no more that five seconds after seeing the parking sign did we read another sign labeled "Festival parking full". Now this normally would of broken the spirit of any normal Middle Eastern food seeking adventurers, but not Paul and I, we were two men with our bellies empty and our eyes set on gyros. So we decided that we would just keep driving down the road and pull in at the next opportunity we had, a decision that would prove to be near fatal. When we were finally able to turn we had already driven down another ten streets and had began to enter a neighborhood that was quite sketchy. As I made the right turn my priorities suddenly turned from ethnic food to survival as we entered a whole new world that I was quite sure I had seen on the History Channel's show "Gangland" and looked as if it was "Straight up outta' da ATL, Atlanta Georgia, greatest muh fuckin city on da planet". At first it appeared to be barren of life, the houses were all old and in poor condition, some were boarded up, some had waist high grass, most had peeling paint, and I can distinctly remember a washing machine in the front yard of one. I took another right turn in an attempt to leave this strange new world but instead found myself in the heart of the "hood", and what I saw froze me with fear. As we drove through this "hood" every person we passed turned their head and stared at us, there was a dead cat in the middle of the road, to the right of us we could see a large group of males gathered on the front porch of the house, and then a man carrying a single bicycle wheel crossed the road in front of us, panic struck as it forced our car to come to a complete stop which I was convinced would be the end of us. However as luck would have it we were not attacked, we were then forced to come to another stop at a stop sign. As I prepared to go I heard a loud booming noise approaching me and was terrified that I was about to be devoured by some sort of giant "ghetto" monster, just then the booming was right next to us, shaking our car with every boom. Being the brave man that I am I turned my head to my left to see this foul beast only to discover that it was a car full of young males who simply drove through and didn't stop, a move which made me think "Those boys didn't stop the proper five seconds". However I was more concerned with my survival then noting license plate numbers to submit for traffic citations, and continued my drive. Just then my trusty navigator Paul said "If you turn right up at this next sign I'm pretty sure it should take us in the right direction". Paul is one of the bravest men that I know, and though out this whole ordeal showed no sign of fear and in fact if my memory serves me right thrown gang signs to our passerby's. Finally we arrived at the stop sign and I took the right turn, which lead us to our glorious salvation and gyros. However before the "hood" let us go it left us with one final ghastly image, as I made that right turn out I locked eyes with a baby in a diaper just standing on the sidewalk "mean muggin'" the hell out of me, an image that still to this day I can not forget.

If you are "legit" urban intercity youth and are reading this on the free computers at the library, then I have three things that I wish to tell you and that I hope you will take to heart.
1. Stay in school
2. VOTE OR DIE
3. Kick rocks

If you are are white suburban youth who dresses, talks, and acts like "legit" urban intercity youth, and are reading this on the iPhone 3g S that you got for Christmas then I have three things that I wish to tell you and that I hope you will take to heart.
1. Look at your house
2. Look in a mirror
3. Grow up