My new year's resolution is to survive the new year

As I sit in my dark basement at one in the morning squinting at my computer screen attempting to write a decent first post I am over whelmed with ideas. Originally I planned to write about how its the new year and how excited I am that 2009 is over because I felt it was a shitty year, however due to the fact that me posting that would be way to emo I have decided to steer clear of that path. Instead I have decided to stay true to my blogs title and focus on "The Life and Times of Sam Wolf". Yet before I can begin to tell of some of my glorious times I want to give you a little bit of a background on myself.

My name is Sam Wolf and I wear pants that for my future children sake are way to tight, I like to sleep a lot, I like to listen to punk rock, and cheeseburger hot-pockets are my favorite meal. I am the vocalist in a hardcore band and have been known to tear it up and get brutal from time to time. I own too many v-neck shirts, enjoy "neat" sweaters, and am a sucker for Raspberry Arizona iced tea. I recognize that the life you are given is the only life you are given and that once your time on the earth is done you will cease to exist, and because of this I try to actually live everyday to its fullest. I do not know how to swim and no matter what you say I will not get into the water. I hate the ocean, theme parks, waiting in lines, and people who say "Legit" way to much. I one day plan on dressing like a turn of the century villian and stealing the deeds to single women's houses and/or apartments. Finally I love zombies, and am always prepared for a zombie outbreak.

So as this blog and post are supposed to be dedicated to my "life and times" I shall wrap up this post with one short story from my childhood.
My story takes place in February of 2007 when I was in eighth grade. One cold night I accompanied my friend Matt Sheffield to a party that was being held at the house of one of the girls in our class. Upon my arrival I noticed that there were some girls at the party who did not go to my school and that I found one of them, a tall, brunette, and well developed girl, to be quite attractive. I made my way over to the girl and we talked for most of the night. At the end of the party when my dad came to pick me up I asked the girl for her number and received it. We spent the next two weeks talking on the phone every night, and making plans to hangout that would always fail at the last second. Then one night as we were talking I casually mentioned that "I really am pretty excited for high school next year" to which she replied "Yeah I bet, I cant wait for middle school next year either". This freaked me out and I immeadiatly asked her to repeat her self because I must of not heard her correctly, yet unfortunately she replied with "Well yeah, I'm in fifth grade. Diddnt you know that?" I suddenly knew that I had to sever all contacts with this girl, however with her being so young I was quite cautious as of just how to sever those ties. For another two weeks I found myself reluctantly answering my phone to her calls, and trying so hard to find a way to tell this girl off. As spring break rolled along my luck took a positive turn, and I found a fool-proof plan to ditch this girl. I told her that my family was going to Jamaica for the break and once that we had "arrived" I was starting to feel pretty sick. By the end of the third day my condition had worsened and my last phone conversation with her was me telling her that I was going to be flown to America so that I could be sent to a better hospital for my critical condition. I then blocked the girl from my phone for two weeks. After those two weeks were up I had my friend, Matt's, father call the girl from my phone and say that he was a doctor in the hospital that I had been sent to and was going through my contact list to inform my friends that I had passed away the night before and that due to the rare virus that killed me, I was to be cremated immediately and therefore would not have a funeral. To my luck this story worked and my phone stopped being light up with calls from her. However my cover was almost blown two months later when I was at the mall and I felt a tap on my shoulder, as I turned around I found myself to be staring the very same girl dead in the eyes. "Sam? Whatever happened to you being dead?" she asked me. I stared blankly at her for a second and pretended to not know who she was even though I clearly did, finally I cleared my throat and said "Sam? Sam died two months ago, I'm his twin brother Matt. Didn't you hear about his passing, it was really rough on our whole family" and then after that I cast a hurt look and walked away to never see the girl again.
And that concludes the story of the time I faked my own death to avoid a girl.

It is now 1:55 in the morning and I have no more desire to write so I shall go to bed, I hope that you enjoyed this post and continue to enjoy the ones that I post. While we cant all live exciting lives like I do, by reading these you'll have a brief glimpse at what it is truly like to be Sam Wolf.

Enjoy